I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
