Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
