Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
