I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
