420 ftw
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
