She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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