need another drink. this is the easiest way
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
