I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
