Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
