You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
