Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
