So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Non-Jews are for practice
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
