There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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