I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
