my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize