And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
