Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
