I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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