Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
