I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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