great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
