There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
