I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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