We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
