those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How external is "for external use only"?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
