we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
