is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
