you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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