can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
