Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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