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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Too much gin, very little bucket
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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