This is not my ceiling
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She's the barista slut.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
