you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
