So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
