sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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