wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
