the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
