yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
