Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize