wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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