Sry I called you an 8
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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