dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
