No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
