If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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