I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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