You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
