u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
