U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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