i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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