we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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