I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
