I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
