Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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