He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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