hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
