I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
