i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
