Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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