I wanna passion pit in your ass
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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