So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
